New DG Post: My Mother's Daughter

Originally published at:

She found it. She actually found it.


Omg well done Deirdre!!!


It feels like an ending somehow. Like this is it, and it’s empty and dead. Idk. I’m glad she’s found Neithernor, but what now? What is there left to do?


Finding the little red house seems to be the next goal and uncovering more of the truth. Finally she might have to face the storm with us along side her


I think she just found closure of sorts. Now to open the next chapter…


I’m honestly just in awe right now. She did it. She found Neithernor. And now she’s going to find the Little Red House.

I don’t know what’s next, but we’re here for you Deeds. Till the very end.


I knew it! I knew she had made it!


Amazing. I’m speechless at her description. Great job!


Random thought: Has Deeds ever taken the Magiq Guide? If Neithernor is thick with magiq, maybe she should figure out what her magiq affinities are to help her exit the Warren- Weatherwatch’s Languidimensional Touch comes to mind.


I’d like to know exactly how she got in in the first place. Thoughts?


Well, she said it had to do with Cole’s list of locations the Chronocompass brought him to, but somehow also things clicked after I reminded her of the name “Elainnor” from the story we know Fletcher Dawson wrote, but she remembers Sullivan telling her as a child. So, I don’t know.


Yeah no idea what she did. Maybe it’s best that way. Like she says her father worked hard to keep it secret. I doubt we could use the method anyway without the journal and comoass.


I’m just… Blown away. My phone was going off the hook while I was in a movie so I stepped outside to see what it was. I ended up weeping in a bathroom stall.
She made it! All this hard work and she is finally there! Just hearing her talk about it… Hearing her describe what is only a small sliver of this world, and I understand why I’ve dedicated so much time to my presuit of magiq.
We will make it there one day too, I have faith in that.


So she found it, but I share the sense that there is sadness here. Rows with cole, too…


So here’s a thought…
The tower, the one Deeds sees in the distance. She compares it to a lighthouse, and I was thinking… 5 and me both agree, the guild halls are all probably in ruins. That could be Thornhouse!


Maybe, if we could reach them, we could start repairing them.


Hey guys, just wanted to give you a heads up about everything that went down last week. I feel like we owe you a little explanation and since I haven’t heard from Dee since last week, I guess I need to do it myself.

I just wanna say from the beginning, I didn’t keep any of this from you guys, I just don’t really tell anybody about it. I told Dee a while back, but I figure you need to know to understand what’s going on.

It all started with a bad car accident my family was in when I was a kid. My dad was okay, but my mom and I almost died. I broke two vertebrae, both legs, my left arm, and fractured my skull. I was in the hospital for a long time and unconscious a lot in the beginning when they were trying to get the swelling in my brain down.

That’s when the other memories started happening. Like dreams that started to stick with me when I was awake. I could remember being somewhere else when I was unconscious. I’d seen some other place and the memories were so strong that I could remember sounds and smells and feeling… What it felt like to be there. It’s mostly a haze now but back then it was crystal clear.

After months of physical therapy (what got me into doing what I do) and brain damage was mostly ruled out I ended up having to see a child psychologist for months. They thought that if I was physically okay I must’ve been subconsciously trying to “paint over the accident” and how bad we both got hurt. They assumed I was trying to ignore the trauma with made up stories.

The accident and recovery and all the crap that came after was hard on my parents. But I pretty much blame myself for why my dad finally left. I wasn’t the kid they remembered. In my mind I went to some place where I could be the boy I felt I really was, and no amount of lying or hiding could make that go away. When I fully figured out I was trans my dad was really messed up. He kept saying it was the accident, that something happened to me. He thought I was broken. I kept trying to tell him I’d known since I could remember that I was different, way before the crash. The accident, and the memories, just changed how I felt about it. I remembered someplace where I was happy with who I was and it didn’t matter. It just… was. I always thought, even if it was some kind of hallucination or coping mechanism, those “memories” helped me be braver than I ever thought I could’ve been.

My mom came around eventually, accepted me. But it drove my dad further away. He was okay when I wanted to end my partial visitation with him. The rest is history.

Anyway, so that’s a heck of a lot of backstory to get to what happened last week. I hadn’t heard from Dee since I left Bunratty. And then I found her coming back from Neithernor and she took me with her. But she was… distant. She’s been like that ever since Monica died, which completely makes sense. But she’s been pushing me away. I felt like she took me out of obligation maybe, because I was there? Which I never would’ve wanted. But I went.

And the way she described the air, the smell, the taste…

It was exactly like the place in my dreams after the accident. It totally freaked me out. I didn’t wanna say why, I just wanted to leave and I didn’t want to leave her there alone even though she can, and has, taken care of herself. We ended up arguing and I made her open the door for me.

I just felt this rush of fear. Of this unknown thing coming back. All of those old feelings. I think maybe part of me wanted to believe the memories after the accident weren’t real. Even after the fraylily dream and the one I had with Traveler. I don’t know… maybe I was just in denial of what I was capable of, what I saw, cause for a few months I was just a guy with an amazing girl and we were happy.

I still haven’t heard from her.
I went back to the brownstone yesterday. She wasn’t there.

I think she’s in Neithernor, and even though I was scared and hurt, I wish I hadn’t walked out.


We all make decisions in the moment that we come to regret. I don’t think that Deeds is gone for good, she has too much unfinished business here, and I hope when she returns you two work things out.

I hope you know that we all love and support you, and want to help in any way that we can.
When you went to those places you were touching magic, you opened a door that had been bolted shut for decades! You have a gift Cole, don’t be afraid of that. I’m glad that Neithernor offered you solace, and the courage it took to come out.
I know what its like to be looked at by your dad like something is wrong with you, and I know how heartbreaking it can be. But he is the issue, not you, he sees the world through glasses tinted by past hates and ignorance.
You are a perfect and complete and beautiful being, and you deserve all the love and joy you can get.
When the time comes Neithernor will still be there, and if you choose to go or not is your choice.
I hope Deeds comes to understand that.


This is… a lot to process. If you need anyone to talk to or anything at all let us know.


Thank you for sharing this deeply personal information. It must have been a difficult choice to share it, but I think I can speak for everyone been I say that we appreciate your honesty and are here to support you 100%.

As for DG, it sounds like you really regret how things went down in Neithernor. Maybe keep a close eye on the brownstone for when she comes back, and just tell her how you feel. No healthy relationship doesn’t contain some fights and each of you can build from here