I am a lot of things. I am bookish and interested in fashion, I am too blunt for my own good, and I send pictures of my dogs to everyone I know. Who I am - who anyone is - is complex and mismatched and wonderful. One specific part of who I am defines how I see the world and how I react to it in ways that others might not understand. I am autistic.
I flap my hands or repeat phrases when I feel strong emotions
I can’t eat spaghetti sauce or touch cardboard with my bare hands
I can locate electrical outlets by sound and I know when the tv is on by smell
These are all things influenced by my autism and they are important aspects of my identity that fit right alongside all the other parts of who I am.
In many places I have been made to feel bad for these traits. In school, my hands were taped to my lap so I couldn’t flap them.
At work I was scolded for using rubber gloves while flattening boxes. In stores, strangers whispered and pointed as I plugged my ears to walk down the electronics aisle. There is one place, though, that I have never been shamed or meant to feel bad for being who I am.
Here, in the Ackerly Green Community, I have flapped my hands during a live stream, and no one told me I was disgusting. I have had fellow Mounties kindly explain to me that they were being sarcastic when I took them seriously, and when I don’t understand something, there are so many people willing to help, with not even a shred of judgment. This really is a special place, and I want everyone else to feel that way too. If any of you ever feel that you’re being discriminated against, or being misunderstood, whether it be because of a condition or disability, your gender or sexuality, your race, anything, please don’t be afraid to bring it up to a leader. None of us are perfect, but we want to make this place - this corner of the internet founded on wonder and a love for magic - safe and accepting for all types of people.
In addition, because April is coming up, and various charities are about to start campaigning, I feel obligated to remind everyone NOT to donate to Autism Speaks. I know they are the largest, most visible organization dedicated to autism, but they do not work in the best interests of the autistic community.
A better organization to support (and also has useful resources for people trying to understand autism from the point of view of autistics themselves) is the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. (ASAN).
You cannot believe how amazing it is to see this! I’m autistic as well and it feels so great to know that not only have I found a welcoming and accepting community but that others here have had similar experiences to mine!
And so lovely to find people who get it about Autism Speaks, too! It’s crazy how much I get shut down when I try to tell people about them. It’s especially weird because my college campus has a dedicated Autism Speaks club.
Just dropping some useful images here. I’ve been posting them on Facebook on comments and such so I can educate where needed without having to write. Feel free to download and use these however you like. I don’t own any of them.
omg sel! this is all amazing information. My son was diagnosed as Autistic about 2 years ago now (he’s 4 now), and this is exactly what everything we’ve researched about has been talking about. There is also a possibility that I am i’ve never been tested but my family shows traits, and there is a genetic component which could have been transmitted father to son)
It’s great that you want to support him correctly as he grows up! My family has that slow slide genetic pattern where each generation has more and more of the symptoms until it popped up into diagnostic range with me. I assume this is because people labeled “weird” tend to find one another and make babies who are more “weird” until someone ends up at peak “weird”. Quotes are because I actually quite like my family’s weirdness, and my own for that matter.
If you have questions, I can only speak for myself but I’d be happy to give my perspective as an autistic adult. So much of the research is about autistic kids (and so little involves autistic scientists) but it can help to see what it looks like to be a functional (mostly functional, anyway) autistic adult. Most of my coping skills for that I learned from other autistic people I met on my own. It’s definitely a Your Mileage May Vary thing, but if I can pass on what works for me, I’d be happy to.
Hi! I’m autistic too! Well, not quite diagnosed yet (which brings it own set of lovely people… /s) but we’re fairly sure. It’s great to hear how lovely people have been in this community about it and all the information has been put in this thread.
I’m not sure if it helps but most people I know who self-diagnosed (including myself) were later professionally diagnosed, either with autism or ADHD (or both). You know yourself, and the amount of information out there these days about how autism actually looks in adults, especially women and nonbinary people, is so much better than it was even five or ten years ago.
The fact that you weren’t diagnosed professionally as a kid says more about our institutional biases and understandings about appropriate gendered behavior. Girls are expected to act a certain way in school, and a lot of those behaviors are also typical of autistic school age girls and nonbinary people, so it’s not really noticed, and instead its praised. Any behaviors that would make us seem “out of line” or “naughty” or whatever are usually punished much more harshly than for boys or children perceived to be boys.
That’s a little long but the gist is that our understanding of autism and the way it is discovered in childhood is extremely biased by gender, which is why we’re seeing huge jumps in the amount of women and nonbinary people being diagnosed as adults or young adults. I’m incredibly interested in this topic lol, sorry for the infodump! I just want you guys to know that you are 100% valid and should be totally comfortable embracing the identity. Even if you turn out not to be autistic, it’s great to have wonderful people in the community anyway.
The institution is so difficult to break through and get people to listen + diagnosing anything is science plus art. There was a lot of wavering on if I had ADHD, Autism, or a combination. It was decided after I had language for what my childhood and 20s were like that it was cPTSD.
Neurodiversity is wild and a lot of diagnoses overlap. Ultimately I hope we eventually learn to work with them all and people stop feeling estranged from their communities because of it
Not only the lack of recognition bias, but I’ve been encountering what might be gatekeeping. People who say - or imply with body language/facial expression - that those without professional diagnosis can’t/shouldn’t say they are.
I havent seen that in my own circles for years, but it’s absolutely still an issue. Personally I think those are primarily people with good intentions but who arent really connected with the wider disability world. Gatekeeping in general is pretty strongly frowned upon in disability communities lol
Know that we accept you and your word here, though!
And in line with that, even if you later discover you aren’t autistic, if the accommodations help, then they are for you.
If stim toys help you regulate, if executive functioning hacks work, then they are for you. If something helps you to take care of yourself better, then it is absolutely valid for you to use it, whether or not it is marketed to the specific diagnosis you have.
goodness that’s kinda intense
Well, not quite diagnosed yet (which brings it own set of lovely people… /s) but we’re fairly sure. It’s great to hear how lovely people have been in this community about it and all the information has been put in this thread.