Oh, I have one for this. I came up with this a while ago but didn’t have anywhere to put it. Thanks, and great idea @Deyavi!
“Ladies and Gentlement! Acoyltes and Adepts! Welcome to the Balimora testing stadium! We’ve got a wonderful achievement to show off, and we’re glad you could all be here to witness it!”
“In these serious times with the storm approaching we need all need to do our best to ensure our safety. To that end we realized it might be necessary to seek out, hunt down and ‘tie up’ those who might seek to do harm. We took inspiration from our recent adventures and decided to bring a bit of the world beyond the veil here through our Bestial Arts. We’ve created two creatures we’re happy to show you all.”
“You see the dummy hanging from the rafters over there? That’s our volunteer. If this works, then that dummy will be caught and rendered harmless, hopefully nonviolently - but that’s why we’re using the dummy at this stage. One day we’ll move on to live trials, but for now turn your attention to the sky and prepare to be amazed! Without further delay, House Balimora is very proud to present what we hope is it’s greatest achivement of the modern age. Please do not be alarmed or be afraid. RELEASE THE TIGRANTULAS!!!”
In a part of the stadium previously shrouded in shadows a large iron portcullis raises into the ceiling straining on massive chains. From the darkness a form leaps into the arena. Part feline, part arachnid, it’s powerful legs lands in the light. Multifacetted eyes scan the arena and then it sits back on it’s haunches and begins spinning something,
“Ah yes, it’s preparing something. Possibly a net? A lasso? It’s…it’s a ball of silk. And now it’s batting it around chasing it. This…this is… odd. And weren’t there two of them?”
Also, it becomes apparent their size is not a trick of perspective. It seems to be a about as small as an average size rabbit.
Looking back through the iron gate, the other Tigrantula can be seen, sleeping. Upon trying to wake it it looks and stares and Robert with a mix of ‘go away’, indifference, and ‘please go die in a fire’ that only a cat can give.
“Alright. We seem to have some technical difficulties everyone. Thank you for coming. We’ll meet here again…once we get this sorted out.”
Somewhat defeated, Robert walks out of the stadium, down a corridor, two flights of stairs and another hallway to a massive door labelled “Balimora Bestial Arts R&D”.
Heading inside, the workshops are a buzz of activity. A team of researches pour over old manuscripts. Three acolytes seem to be trying to train a pair of small dogs in basic magiq tricks. A large tank sits off to the far right where a Balimoran has their head submerged attempted to talk to the dolphins inside. By the door, a watermelon sits in a vice…no one has ever explained why.
Thump A loud dull noise is heard the back of the labs, but no one seems to pay attention to it so Robert doesn’t worry about it. Walking up reception desk, he’s greeted with a big smile by the receptionist/librarian. “Good Magiqal afternoon! How can I help you?”
“Yes, I’m wondering who’s been working on the Tigrantula project?”
“Oh let me look that up, one moment.” Thud
“please don’t say Steve. please don’t say Steve.”
“Looks like that’s Steve.”
“fffffuuuuuu…okay then. Thank you. Is he still in the back?”
“Last I checked. He likes to move his desk around the lab.”
Heading toward the labs near the back the thudding noise seems to get a bit louder, but it’s hard to tell. Arriving at Steve’s desk he’s tinkering with an alarm clock, a fish tank, and what appears to be a pet rock. Behind him there’s a large sheet obscuring half the lab.
“I’m here to talk about the Tigrantulas, Steve.”
“Oh yes, aren’t they darling?!”
“I suppose. Can you help me understand what I just saw?”
“Love to.”
“Wonderful. Now the intent was to merge the essences of a tiger and a giant spider into a single form, yes?”
“Yes.”
“And did we?” thud
“Mostly”
“Mostly…good we’re getting somewhere. Did we actually use a tiger?”
"Of course not! They’re endangered! "
“You know, that’s a valid point I have to give you. So you used something else?”
“Yes”
“A leopard?”
“Also endangered.”
“A panther”
“No”
“A Lion?”
“Yes” thud
“Really?”
“Well no. We wanted to but no one volunteered to go get one. We sent a couple animal control board officers for one last week. Haven’t heard back from them yet.”
“Okay. A lynx?”
“Too silly looking” thud
“A jaguar?”
“Couldn’t catch one.”
“An ocelot?”
“No one knows what those are.”
“Alright. I’m going to ask you what we used for our mighty hunter seeker creations and the next words out of your mouth better not be ‘we used housecats’”.
“We used housecats.”
“Dammit Steve! This is why no one takes us seriously!”
"It’s great isn’t it?
“No. No it’s not. We were trying to create two fierce guardians to track down and catch our foes and you gave us…those.”
“Snowball and Mister Mittens”
“I’m sorry”
“Their names. Snowball and Mister Mittens.”
“Why on earth would you call them Snowball and Mister Mittens?”
“Well you see one of them has these cute little white paws.”
“Yes! Yes I see!” Thud “And will you please tell me what that damn thudding noise is?!”
“Oh that! That’s our next achivement!” thud
“What is it? No wait, I don’t want to know.”
“Too late! Those are the eleraffes we’ve been working on.” thud
“Ele…raffes. Oh dear creator no.”
“Yes. They’re almost perfect. We just have an issue with a a head that large being on a neck that long” thud “Just a bit top heavy you understand. Do you want to see them?”
“NO! …I mean, No thank you. I must be going. I’m just going to leave. And once I get out I’m going to ask security to swing by and brick up the door to these labs so no one can ever leave. Please don’t take that personally, Steve.”
“Never do.”
sighing, Robert returns to the guild halls a little wiser…a little sadder…and decides it’s a prefect time to go back to bed.
.